The Other Vows


This post is for anyone who has ever witnessed a marriage. You saw the bride and groom exchange their vows and if its very traditional, at some point, they ask the audience if anyone knows of a reason why this couple should NOT unite. Usually there is silence. Why? Some people know good and well that they should speak up. If you didn’t say anything about the wedding then, why discourage someone’s marriage now? In some ceremonies, even the witnesses take vows to support the couple and their union.

The bible encourages us to lift each other up, spur each other on, pray for each other’s healing and to bear burdens for one another. Unfortunately,  this isn’t happening. Instead of encouraging reconciliation,  we help our friends throw divorce parties. Instead of fasting and praying through their trials with them, we go to divorce court (on tv and in real courts) and watch the trials!

Perhaps this has never occurred to anyone before but it is also your responsibility to support biblical marriages that are not yours.

There are husbands and wives all over the world who are separating and divorcing due to lack of encouragement and support. It’s so easy to do the wrong thing, but real friends hold you accountable to your vows before God and your spouse. They don’t tempt you to step out of your marriage and encourage your relationships with other men. They don’t put you in compromising situations or point out every cute guy in church. You cannot expect a person that does not have a relationship with Jesus to behave as one. It’s important to carefully assess your associations with people. If you are married,  no one has to love your spouse as much as you, but they should respect and honor your union. Why are your girlfriends wearing THAT outfit right in front of your man? How come your husband’s friend is so flirtatious, kissing every female in the room including you?

Many married people complain that they lose friends after marriage. How twisted! The whole christian marriage community ought to embrace newlyweds with open arms. The church is built on a foundation of people helping people get closer to Christ. If marriage is a picture of Christ and His church, why are we ripping it apart with our mouths and support of divorce instead of reconciliation?

In one instance in the Bible, when the friends of a wounded man wanted to bring him to Jesus,  they could not make it through the door of the house where so many were already gathered, so they lowered him down on a cot through the roof! (Luke 5:17-20) Anything you place at the feet of Jesus can be healed. Anything! What are you willing to endure for the sake of relationships that represent Him and His bride?

How many of us are willing to go through the roof to take some broken marriages to Jesus?

Some relationships are so broken that there are no words. All you can do is to take them to God. But many are not even willing to do that. Let’s ask God to break our hearts for what breaks His. Broken marriages hurt the heart of God. It was never His plan. Support those who are married. Celebrate their anniversaries and their love for one another. Pray that they stay faithful to one another in times of discouragement and temptation. You will need it too.


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